December 19, 2003 - 1:33 AM

Season of Mists Ends, Season of Brilliant Quiet Begins

Strange attitude lately from me. I feel like I'm rushing to the end of the year/start of the new year, all in a tizzy while crap swirls around me, impatiently waiting their turns to be addressed; yet I'm also moseying along, slowly wrapping up things, figuring out what I can finish now, and what I should just let lie until January 2nd. There are certain things that, if I got active with them now, would have to be put on hold when I go home on Sunday, then probably wouldn't have time to be picked up in the few days between when I return and New Year's Eve, so I'll just put them off to the side until next year.

Oh, and my list of crushes continues to slowly grow. I did venture forth an offer of an outing to one of my crushees (since my interest in her was hidden as well as the nose on my face), which she politely declined, being that she is freshly out of a relationship and not looking for a new one just yet. It's all good. I think I've learned how to deal with being delightfully smitten while not letting the insidious vines of infatuation insinuate themselves. Sure there's still struggle and anxiety, but on a much smaller scale. Less worrying too.

Although, I did have a strange, vivid dream a couple mornings ago that left pangs in my heart. I had returned to high school to take classes (I think that THAT stemmed from my recent pursuit of a substitute teacher side-gig), and my current forlornedness carried over into the dream. A girl, who looked a bit like Taryn Manning (or Avril Lavigne), and with whom I seemed to have a past history, came up to me and hugged me and there was that instant of telepathic clarity that you get in dreams, where you just know something, and you know it to be true, there was that instant where she looked at me, and I looked at her, and we were now boyfriend/girlfriend. No words exchanged, we just knew. She held on to me, we talked, and then I had to go find my classes, but her touch stayed in my mind. And her physical presence was so REAL, when I woke up, I was sad for several minutes to lose the feel of her behind me, with her arms wrapped around my torso, body pressed against my back, head resting between my shoulder blades. This time of year sure can play dirty tricks on one's mind.

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I'm becoming very excited because I will be seeing Return of the King in the next 24 hours with Nick. Woowoo! My sister saw it last night, and she called me before she went because SHE was so excited. She was also sad because, as she put it, it felt kinda like the end of an era, the final movie of the trilogy. I of course laughed at her, saying "what, the end of a three-year era?" She's funny in a dorky way sometimes. Or is it dorky in a funny way?

Josh Groban was on Leno tonight, and performing with him were several members of the band The Bloody Lovelies, who also are often the backing band for Sylvie Lewis. Pretty bitchin' to see them there.

All the crazy off-season moves happening in baseball are getting me so very stoked. My hometown Baltimore Orioles are finally doing something right and not totally overspending on crappy free agents. It looks like they'll get three of the premiere young-ish hitters on the market in Miguel Tejada, Vladimir Guerrero, and Javy Lopez (or Ivan Rodriguez), and I can allow myself to be excited about O's baseball again. But beyond just them, I'm rabid about all the big names moving around (Curt Schilling to the Red Sox, Billy Wagner to the Phillies, Richie Sexson to Arizona), the almost trades going on (A-Rod, Garciaparra, Magglio Ordonez), and the New York Yankees' acquisitions which further feed my hatred of their Evil Empire. oooooooh....I can't wait for spring training to start, and roto baseball to kick in. The season of pre-baseball.

Now Listening To : Neko Case-Blood Furnace Lullaby
Random Thought : Are you supposed to do laundry before you go home, or do you just take all your dirty clothes home so that your mom can do it

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