October 18, 2003 - 2:07 PM

Schmoozing Is Not For Meeeee.

My interpersonal relating skills need work. Ahh, who am I kidding, they need a major overhaul. Sometimes I do ok talking with people, but more often, I'm a wallflower. Especially when I'm around people with whom I'm not too familiar, and I have no "safety net" person to latch onto. Idle chitchat isn't my forte, breaking the ice is a struggle I'd rather not deal with, even introducing myself to someone is an anxious affair. I don't want to come across as some buffoon, a desperately overeager loser, or the dreaded slick-talker. So I just stay where I am, biding my time (and usually, my time never comes), grateful to not have to experience awkward silences and other conversational faux pas.

There was this singer-songwriter showcase at a coffeehouse in Hollywood a couple days ago featuring Berklee College of Music grads. I was looking forward to maybe seeing some old school mates there and perhaps catching some worthwhile musicians who I might be able entice into working with me at the studio. Part of the reason why I continue to work there for such little money (hey, I just got a raise! No more California Minimum Wage for me!) is to have access to the rooms when there's nothing going on (as has been the case of late and will probably continue to be for the next couple months, if not for the rest of the life of the monolithic record labels). This perk allows me to improve my skills as an engineer and producer through practice and experience, as well as letting me build up my musical portfolio for when I become a freelancer. In having access to the rooms, I can bring in artists who maybe don't have much of a budget, or don't have access to a top-of-the-line studio such as mine. We work on a few songs, maybe for an album, maybe just for a demo that they can send out to labels or managers or clubs. The trade off in having a product that might not sound as good as one done by a veteran engineer is that they get the studio time and access to the best equipment for free.

So far, I haven't been able to bring anyone in myself, although I've worked on a few projects with bands that other assistants and interns have brought in. I just don't feel comfortable approaching someone I see in concert to offer them my engineering services and free studio time. I get all icky-feeling just thinking about it. I. Can't. Schmooze. Most of the time, the people who I would really like to work with are so good, I think "well, they could hook up with someone who's MUCH better than me and get a superior product out of it", and in most cases, it seems to be true. I check out their cd, or their website, and the songs they have recorded sound GOOD, and they list who they've worked with, and I'm sunk.

So, at this Berklee thing, there were a couple of acts that I really liked, but I didn't approach them because they were so polished, they already had albums out, and there were lots of other people talking with them after their sets (another thing I can't do is penetrate that beehive of hub-bubbery). I did end up talking with one of the guys sitting next to me at the bar, as he had been discussing the elimination of the Red Sox from the Playoffs (*mew*) with his friend, and that news had sent me into a repetition of the word "motherfuckers". His friend was a Berklee grad (a year or two after me I think), and he was a recent New England Conservatory grad who was interested in music production/engineering with an emphasis on urban music. We talked about my studio, and he named right off the bat one of the hottest mixers in pop music who just happens to have a room at the studio. We exchanged info, and I was pretty hyped at that connection because he sounded like he was good at finding people to produce, and he also seemed very excited to hook up with me, too.

I bailed soon after our talk since the showcase ended soon thereafter. Coward that I am, I wanted to hold onto that little triumph before it got smooshed by any further uncomfortabilities or dejection. However, I did end up emailing the guy who I thought was the best of the performers after checking out his website, gushed a bit about how much I liked him and his musical tastes, then offered him my services as an engineer and a cellist. Thankfully, my bungled email was intelligent enough to garner an enthusiastic response from him, so maybe something will come out of that too.

But these two things could easily come to naught. And so I must ruck up and go out to more shows, more showcases and open mic nights to find eager new talent. I so don't want to. I wish they would just find me.

Now Listening To : Sarah McLachlan-Solace (best album ever)
Random Thought : Thanks for Season 3 of Buffy, Soph!

What I Just Wrote Before - What I'm About to Write

The Five Most Recent Entries

Here's a hand-picked playlist of 40-plus songs for you to listen to: