February 08, 2005 - 5:15 PM

Backed Up, Stressed, but OK

This is the third time in the past three days that I've started an entry. I keep trying to write something, and after a paragraph or two, I just don't feel "it". I get tapped out, and then I have to go do something for work, or I get caught up in something on tv, and by the time I get back to the computer, it's time to shut it down. This page, mostly white with a few lonely, orphaned words loitering about the top, blinks at me, trying to guilt me into filling it up before I reluctantly quit out of the program and turn off the computer.

It's not that I have nothing to say. I've written down notes to myself with ideas for what I could throw in here, but nothing really blossoms from them. And I haven't made the time to hack an entry out. We've been busy at work, with our first two scripts getting completed in the past two weeks, along with our first two table reads and recording sessions.

The table reads were an interesting experience for me since I wasn't around at the beginning of last season to see them. The actors, the network executives, the writers and producers, the animation people, and various friends and family all sit around a conference room. One of the producers narrates the script while the actors play their parts and it ends up being like a radioplay you might hear on Garrison Keillor's program, A Prairie Home Companion. It's a world of difference between just reading the script yourself and hearing the characters come alive in front of you- jokes that seem lame on page work flawlessly in the room.

There's been a little stress for me as far as making sure that nothing goes wrong at the table reads, and that scripts get delivered on time, or keeping track of ALL the little tasks that I have to do to keep everyone in the office happy and the show running smoothly. On top of that, I was having a little anxiousness over dinner plans with Korean relatives on my dad's side who are in L.A. for a little while, family that I haven't seen since I was in Korea 20 years ago. My aunt, a professor in Korea, is doing a 6 month visiting scholar program at UCLA; her son Tong-Han is doing Masters work in Entomology at the University of California in Riverside; and her daughter Hae-Joo will be studying at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. I was worried about being embarrassed because I can't speak Korean, about feeling awkward as they tried to speak English, and about the general unknown that goes with meeting people who you're supposed to know, but who you don't.

I shouldn't have worried though, because their English was much better than I was expecting, and they were wonderfully warm and fun. There were a few missteps in communication, but nothing horrible. The only thing really gnawing at me was the fact that I was missing the second half of the Superbowl while hanging out with them.

On Saturday, I did some recording for Adrianne under sorta hasty conditions. Since I hadn't been in a studio in a couple months, and I hadn't been in that particular studio EVER, it was nerve-wracking for the first few hours. But we got some good songs down, and she's leaving it in my hands to do some editing before we record guitars over the tracks and then mix it.

Stress and anxiety...you know what that means. Yep, the return of the anxiety dreams. I had them a few days in a row last week, before things went fine with Adrianne and my relatives and they disappeared. But the past two nights, I've had some different, unsettling dreams. Not quite nightmares in the usual sense, but very dark and a disturbing, so much so that when I've woken up in the morning, I've felt quite horrible. I can't figure out what's triggering them.

*************
In the good news department, Phil and Jen bought a townhouse in Worcester, MA last week. It won't be ready until the end of summer, and they don't move in until the middle of September, but there's still lots of excitement about it. I found out from Elin, who was down from S.F. again last week for work. We had dinner with Matt and Sharon at an authentic Oaxacan restaurant called Guelaguetza which served mostly dishes featuring a sauce called Mole (pr. moh-lay). Apparently, the pre-incarcerated Martha Stewart ate there when she had occasion to be in L.A., and the feisty Rachael Ray ate a meal there on one of her episodes of "$40 a day". I found the darker chocolate based mole to not be so appetizing, but the tamale and the green mole that I ordered were delicioso.

Even more good news, Elin went back to S.F. the next day, had surgery the following day, and found out a few hours ago that all of the cancer has been removed! She is cancer-free! Now is the time in the entry when we dance!

Now Listening To : Rachael Yamagata- Happenstance
Random Thought : Sylvie Lewis' CD release party is this saturday at the Hotel Cafe. Be there!

What I Just Wrote Before - What I'm About to Write

The Five Most Recent Entries

Here's a hand-picked playlist of 40-plus songs for you to listen to: