February 09, 2005 - 2:44 PM

Pantastic Present

So now, this makes two Christmas's in a row that I've received kitchen cooking implements as gifts. Sexy ones, too. (did you know/remember, by the way, that today is Ash Wednesday? And the start of the Chinese New Year? dum dum DUUUUUM)

Monday, there was a big ol' box in front of my apartment door when I got home from work. I wasn't expecting anything, so I thought it must have been placed there mistakenly, perhaps intended for number 37 or 39. But, no, there was my name and address on the front, the sender being some cookware company.

"Hmmm," I pondered, "hmmm. Why would I be getting cookery? I did not order any. Perhaps this is a gift of some sort?"

I opened the box and searched the invoice for a clue. A cryptic message was there, teasing me with a little more info. It said "From Soph, Merry Belated Christmas and New Year and all that. Hope you can use this." Beneath it was a box holding an omelette pan. I was still stumped as to who would send this to me and why. No one knows where I live, and no one knows about my shameful lust for making omelettes. What devilish fiend had pried into my personal life and deciphered that which was my heart's most deepest secret?

Hee hee, ok, so, when Soph was visiting me after Vegas, she saw the crusty frying pan that I've been using for years, and I guess she made a note that I needed a new one. That wonderful sister of mine chose one swanky pan as a replacement. It's all professional and stuff. Anodized steel. Whatever that is. Non-stick as long as I take proper care of it. And a right dandy tool for smashing people in the head when I'm angry.

Speaking of Soph, unbeknownst to me, she has a xanga page up that she has given me permission to link to. So, for you cousins and friends reading this, you can check out her thoughts here. And, of course, I have to place all blame for the two weeks of no entry on Soph, because she jinxed me by commenting in my guestbook that I should become a writer after that "jeans" story.

In case some of you newer readers were wondering, last Christmas, Nick got me a George Foreman grill which has received much use over the past 13 months.

*******
There is one great thing and one suck-ass thing that I've discovered about jeans in the past two weeks. Oddly, both relate to pockets. The great thing with which I've become enamored is the easy access to the pockets, what with their front-side placement. Instead of having to come from behind at a slight angle to enter the pocket, and having to pull out at that precise angle to extricate whatever's in there like with normal pants, with jeans, it's straight up and down. Just let your hands slide along your thighs, and you can slip your wallet in and out of the pocket with ease.

Now, the bad thing about the pockets is how tiny they are. You've got room for a medium sized wallet, or a set of keys, or a cell phone, and that's it. Any more than one item in a pocket, and you've got keys gouging into your flesh or stacked credit cards cutting off the flow of blood to your legs. To fight this, you have to use 3 or 4 pockets to carry around your daily necessities, as opposed to just 2 or even 1 on khakis. Now I understand what Ralph Wiggum meant when he said "my pockets hurt."

Now Listening To : Patty Griffin- Impossible Dream
Random Thought : Welcome back Nick.

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