August 19, 2004 - 6:05 PM

Ads That Suck, Ads That Don't

Is McDonald's on a campaign to see just how much they can annoy the public with their TV commercials before they begin to lose customers? Are they actively trying to turn us off?

I've written in the past about how heinous I think their new jingle/motto is ("I'm Lovin' It"...no, I'm not), but luckily, ever since they started airing the seems-like-they-were-done-by-amateurs commercials that use that song last year, I've been able to tune them out, mostly. Mostly. Now, with my attention glued to the Olympics (and, seriously, it seems like everyone I talk to is just like me, in that they are surprised at how quickly they were sucked into the Maelstrom that is the Olympic mystique, despite their not giving a hoohah about the Games up until the Gorgon that is NBC began its assault on us last week), I've been forced to watch so many terrible, horrifyingly bad commercials from Olympic Sponsors, McDonalds, that I just can't turn my head away anymore.

Ronald McDonald competing in various events? Not funny. Plus, what's with the strange editing where it feels like they slapped together shots around the logo, put in a strained voiceover/commentary, and shat it upon the tube? They may be a proud sponsor of the 2004 Olympic, but they sure ain't taking pride in their advertising. Or how about those various commercials for the new Chicken Selects where it's people talking about making sure others don't steal their chicken strips? Like, that one woman who looks a bit like Amy Poehler, but is dressed very poorly like a 15 year old and is telling people to step back and not touch her chicken? Shoot the director!

Also not cool, the commercials for Levitra where a woman talks about how happy her man is now that he uses it. Way to make 96% of the viewing public VERY uncomfortable, woman. Although, I'm sure that little girl who was sitting behind us at Harold and Kumar is laughing her head off at the commercial. If only they had boobies, it would be a comedy classic for her.

Most cell phone commercials are annoying, whether it's the "Can you hear me now? Good!" Verizon guy or the numerous Cingular "I call this my *x* plan" pitch people or Catherine Zeta Jones. Especially when she's shilling for T-Mobile. To be honest, I kinda like the trenchcoated Sprint guy (the older commercials with him fixing peoples' phones who had misunderstandings because of static are classic, and the two ones where they introduced the earlier weekend hour starting time, first to a sorority house, then to a fraternity house with similar results, are also very funny), but I have not been digging the ads lately that have been comparing the strict rules of phone contracts to kids playing games. Once was funny, twice was cute, but now they have a gazillion variations, and it's just icky, pimping those kids like that.

By comparison, there are some commericals out there that are quite enjoyable, whether its because they are funny or they are inventive or they are just well done. For example, I've enjoyed the numerous ads by Target where they use a split screen element to connect people on one side with inanimate objects on the other, resulting in a creatively amusing effect, all edited nicely to a remix of Roy Orbison's "You Got It". Or, there's the Lexus commercial where they show off their entire line of cars with slick editing, having the cars pop in and out of place, moving around without looking like they're moving around. Sleek. Dairy Queen has that funny new one with the business guys doing a taste test of one of their new drinks with a blindfolded woman, and she won't give the drink back after tasting it. In fact, rather than give it up, she runs away with it, but being blindfolded, she runs right into the wall.

But the best new commercial is probably the Starbucks one with the band Survivor singing the song "Eye of the Tiger" while traveling around a guy who drinks the Double Shot espresso. Really, who doesn't dream of having their own theme music play while they go about their everyday life? And to have it performed by real musicians, too. We can only hope that it becomes reality.

Now Listening To : Vienna Teng-Warm Strangers
Random Thought : Off to pick up Ros. yay!

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