December 06, 2003 - 1:18 PM

Save CBEST for Last

It turns out that I'm not as stupid as I think. Maybe.

I just finished the California Basic Educational Skills Test (CBEST). 4 hours, 50 english questions, 50 math questions, 2 essays. I was actually able to complete it in 3.5 hours, and it would have been less if I wasn't stumped by one of the essays.

Things started off shaky. My nerves were wrecked (and wracked) since I hadn't taken a test, especially a standardized test, in years. After the instructions were read by the procter, I opened up my booklet and immediately knocked one of my pencils off the desk and under the table next to me. The first 15 minutes flew by as I struggled to comprehend the reading passages and the multiple choice questions. My mind scattered on me, fritzing around, spacing out, refusing with a child's stubborness to focus on the test. It's a strange feeling to be taking a test and realize that you are not in the right brainset to be doing such things.

Luckily, things got sorted out in my head, a switch was flipped, and by the 4th reading passage, all systems were go. I double checked my previous answers, then cruised through the rest of the english, then the math. There was one big stumble when I came across a problem that described two satellite orbits with differing radii. Radiuses. Radishness. Lengths from center to any point on the circumferences. Instead of looking at the answers, or even fully reading the problem, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that I would have to use Pi. Now, I'd been reading a Cliff Notes help book on the CBEST (ok, so I only read it 3 times, and the last time was on Tuesday while I was at work on a recording session), and all indications were that the most difficult the math questions would get was some rudimentary algebra and geometry. Perimeter and area of squares and cubes and triangles, but no Hypotenuse stuff, no Pythagorean theorem, no SOH CAH TOA; basic variable equations, but no quadratic formulas. So, basically, a breeze (incidentally, I used to be a pro at math, but that part of the brain has lain in disrepair for so long, it's now atrophied). Running across something that I thought required Pi left me with a cold sinking feeling that, like, the next page would contain derivatives, and differentials, and negative square roots.

After trying to remember if Pi(R^2) was for area and 2(Pi)R was for figuring out how much tip you're supposed to give if the service wasn't so great, but you liked the food, and the atmosphere was ok (14% plus a badger), I read the question fully, and realized that they were merely asking for the difference between the given radiusimopiphones. An internal "whew" later, we were on to the next problem.

Also included in the delight that was my CBEST (there were something like 15 different versions of the test that were given out, and you were randomly given one) were two reading selections that nearly knocked me on my ass. Given that I was already seated, that wasn't too hard to do. Umm. Yeah. One was a conversation between a deli clerk and a customer, and, I swear the exchange was lifted from the Monty Python Cheese Shop Sketch. If you don't know this sketch, John Cleese goes to a Cheese Shop and asks Michael Palin as the proprietor for some cheese. Palin leads Cleese on, making him name off all sorts of dairy delights, until he reveals that there is no cheese, at which point, Cleese kills him. The sketch takes a few minutes; the CBEST distilled it down to about 10 lines. But there was the clerk, being an ass about having any cheese, and the exasperated customer trying to get something, anything. They changed the ending by having the clerk offer the customer some Virginia Ham. The first question the test asked was "What will the customer's next action likely be?" and I chose "take his business elsewhere".

The other reading selection that caught me by surprise was two paragraphs about pesticides. The second paragraph discussed DDT and how scientist/researcher/author Rachel Carson helped in getting its use banned by the government. That in and of itself isn't so shocking. What is, is the fact that last night, me, my cousins Tony, Sharon and Matt, and Carol, along with Tony's friend Sungkee, were winding down our celebration of Magnificent Margaret's birthday at Sharon and Matt's, and we ended up playing that Famous People Charades game "Time's Up." I had gotten ribbing all week about my not studying for the CBEST, especially since Carol, who was visiting from Las Vegas, and I stayed up until 10 AM Wednesday and Thursday nights playing the XBox at my place ("hey Paul, I sure hope they have questions about Halo on the test Saturday"), and my cousins continued to joke about it. Well the last laugh was on them, because one of the names we did was RACHEL CARSON! What strange coincidences abound.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, Margaret's initial birthday celebration was at Chuck E Cheese's. But they served no beer. Boo on them.

Now Listening To : Bic Runga- Beautiful Collision
Random Thought : Someone's been catching up on my diary out of Tennessee. Hi there!

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