October 14, 2004 - 12:19 PM

As Good As It Gets, But Not that Good

"Santana pitched just as well as anyone else in the second half."

How generic is that? I hate that phrase and whatever variations there may be of it, that "just as well/much/good as anyone/body/else" limp-ass declaration. I've heard it from commentators during lots of televised sports games and seen it pop up a lot in the writing of many fantasy baseball columnists, and it drives me buggy. Usually, they're trying to say that one person or team does something in such a comparative extreme to all other examples that it is to be noted.

"Ichiro Suzuki hit the ball as well as just about anybody in the final three months of the season."

There's something about it...the words lack impact. "As good as"...."as well as." If someone does something as well as anyone else does it, doesn't that make them fairly mediocre? I mean, if you're comparing one person to everyone else, there's normally going to be some sort of bell curvature going on in the general grouping, where most fall into a median with a spread that tapers off in the better and the worse-than-average directions, right? So, if Ichiro hit just as well as anyone, that includes, say, Joey Averagebatter, and that's not saying much, is it?

"Scott Kazmir's (pitching) stuff is about as good as anyones'."

And if something (let's call it "A") is "as good as" something else (heretofore designated "38"), it means that "A" can only BE "as good as" "38". There's a limit set by the qualities of "38" which restrict how good "A" can be. "Better" means "greater in excellence or higher in quality". "As good as" idiomatically means "practically or nearly" like the compared object. "A" can't be better than "38", it can only be nearly like "38." And it might even be inferior to "38."

Another thing irks me, the use of the word "anyone". Who is "anyone"? Be specific! He pitched just as well as little Kenny Dimplehead in the local Bel Air Rec League for 9-11 year olds? And he pitched as well as Curt "my ankle!" Schilling? And he pitched as well as Shawn "my ERA!" Chacon? That's a broad spectrum.

I've said it before, words are important. Words have power. Words work. So use them wisely.

"Johan Santana pitched better than perhaps everyone after the All-Star Break. He was unconscious, lights-out, insane."

"Ichiro Suzuki was arguably the best hitter in the majors after June, hitting over .400 He aimed his hits like a sniper, and wielded his bat with samurai-like precision."

"Scott Kazmir has great stuff. Wicked stuff. Potential-ace stuff."

Now, was that so hard?

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