June 27, 2006 - 11:51 AM

After the Date

She's pretty. She's got these eyes...so beautiful, and when she smiles? Ahhh. In one of my online dating profiles, there's a section that has you fill in the blanks in this statement "____ is sexy; _____ is sexier", and my fill-ins are "eyes" and "eyes that smile". So yeah, a smile where the eyes sparkle and beam joyously makes me weak in the knees.

Beyond being so darn cute, she's also wonderfully normal AND quirky. There's a sense of wholeness to her, centeredness- she seems to know herself and is comfortable with who she is. She's an engaging talker; tells funny little stories that sometimes go nowhere; makes interesting comments on random things. I had a great time listening to her and laughing out loud at what she said. Everybody has a sense of humor, so when people say they're looking for someone with a sense of humor, they really mean they're looking for someone with a similar sense of humor to theirs. Well, her sense of humor is comfortable for me. It's not strained or hammy or dense or painful- it makes sense and it makes me laugh.

So of course I feel like I screwed up the date by being really bad at my side of the conversation. When she was speaking, it was good times; but as soon as I asked a question or responded, it felt like we ran into a wall. Well, not that bad, but still. You know how, when I talk with people that I know, the strangest things come out of my mouth and topics pop up out of nowhere? That naturalness wasn't forthcoming on the date. I'd ask her something, and she'd give an answer, and I had no follow up. Or she'd point out something and make a funny comment, and I'd have no witty reply.

It wasn't terribly awkward or anything, and she seemed to be having a decent time, but it certainly didn't roll along smoohly. We ended up playing two rounds of Upwords, and she whupped my ass but good both times. Being outside for 4 hours, eating and playing board games, can really take a lot out of you, and we both had to fight off naps during the second game. When we got back to her place, we crumpled onto the two couches in her living room and talked for a bit and played with her cats. The afternoon petered out as we both acknowledged how tired we were and that we should get some rest before the evening rolled around.

She had plans to go out to Hooters with a friend (at the Dodgers game on Friday night, the Dodgers scored more than 10 runs and won, which meant everyone at the stadium could take ther tickets to any Hooters and get 10 free wings) that night while I was thinking of going to a show at the Hotel Cafe.

I said my eyeballs were on fire (from being so tired), there was a slight pause, and then we both got up as we sensed that this was the end of the date. She picked up one of her cats, Axel, and I said "I guess I'll go" and she nodded and said "I'll talk to you soon" and there was no hug, no handshake, just me smiling, a bit confused, and walking out the door. Was that it? Should I have made more of an effort to give her a hug? Even though it didn't feel right?

I agonized over that and talked to Nick and Margaret. It was agreed that I should ask her out to something else, further press my interest, and see if she accepted. So I emailed her that night, inviting her to a chocolate and coffee tasting at the Peet's Coffee and Tea near my work on Wednesday; unfortunately, she responded Sunday night saying that her commute would make it impossible for her to make it in time (but thanks for the invite!). More ping-pong in my brain and a phone call with Mark, and I sent an email asking if she had any nights free this week for dinner or some fun activity, because I'd really like to see her again.

This is the first time I've told a girl that, and honestly, it feels a little hokey. Like some line you hear in a movie or a tv show that makes you roll your eyes because it's so trite. But, it is how I feel and it gets the point across; and lord knows I don't want to be playing the cat-and-mouse game. I'm just no good at that. Now we wait for her response.

Now Listening To : Emiliana Torrini- Fisherman's Woman
Random Thought : I'm on the east coast from July 12th through the 21st. Let's hang out!

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